Be creative.

go rot and die.

go jump off a cliff.

anymore to add?

Occasional Poem

Funeral

I cannot see you in front of me
like a windshield with bad wipers.
I am overtaken
Fear, sadness, helplessness.
What happens next?

I cannot recongnize you.
You look neither like an angel
even though they have tried to make you perfect.
Nor can I search for your
young-loved childhood, broken dreams,
favorite pastimes, passion or warmth.
You are stone. Engraven your
presence and my memories of you,
deeply etched in my heart.

I hope He will take care of you.
I think He will recognize you
and you will find
what you’ve been looking for.
And you will be home.


- Marisha Perry

AIDS in Africa

May 1, 2007
Poem about something in the world I wish I could change/get rid of/help.
AIDS in Africa

Your wounded eyes
cannot explain
what you see.

I peer through my
rosy frames my theme,
“I am well.
all must be well.”
Unaware and free.

Only if I knew
you say to yourself,
“Death, black, suffering
surrounds me now”

Just a child
tears fall
mothers fall
free the poverty-stricken

You’re not alone
God is with you even
though your family is not.
Not to worry child
they are with Him.
Let Him take care of them.
Let Him take care of you.

Wrap your fingers around hers.
Her stiff brittle fingers.
cold. Not sleeping.
You don’t leave her.
She’s all you have left.

Show me child,
give me some grief.
You stumble but cannot fall
Cannot be like her.
Not like them.
You are the survivor
five years old.
Receive a hug
smile a little, showing
your baby teeth.
Let Him take care of her
Let Him take care of you

Act out fight AIDS.

*Sigh*

It's time to start over. Let go. Put it behind me and start FRESH. I just.. don't really know how to do that...?

Geez I can't wait for summer. I'm so sick of school. Entirely.

Oh geez.

That post I posted.... was way long ago and that kid is rude/weirdo/NOT EVEN ATTRACTIVE!! So yeah.. screw. that. puahaha. not literally of course, that would contradict everything that I am saying. :D

I had fun...

I went on a date tonite! I wasn't too sure if it was or not.. but it was! It was fun!


I'll write about it later, I don't feel like it and Dad is snoring/trying to sleep I feel bad. so yeah.


"peace"

Today:

I think I pooped all my organs out.

-Had I known how to save a life.

I should write in here more often.

I got three new shirts! They are what I consider as my "new style" and they are absolutely amazing. I got them at Ross for eight dollars each, that's why I cracked down and gave in to my burning desire. =] I've found that it's a lot easier to spend money when you have a silvery/sparkly piece of plastic rather than actual green moo-lah. *shrugs* but oh well, I don't regret it, and hopefully I won't when I go to Utah for Spring Break!!

Hm.. speaking of Spring Break, I'm so excited that I can actually go down there! DQ is amazing now. =] Even more so than before. I requested it and I talked to Amanda [one of my managers] to see if it was "approved or whatever" and she said that since I requested it I would get it off.

Speaking of work :D I am still front register. It's alright though, it's not that bad, not that good. I'd rather be working there than in the icecream making part of it. Cause they like never get a break. When there aren't any customers and they aren't going crazy back there, they are restocking, cleaning, etc. Sounds like insanity! But lately it's been funner because I will help out with the food expediting duties [taking the food out to customers] and whatnot.

Sophie just left today. We had so much fun!! and Irene was hilarious! Yesterday, We went to Far West Boutique cause Irene wanted to try on wedding dresses and Cassandra [one of the girls I take to Team Read who's hilarious] and Sophie and I wanted to try on prom dresses and such. And I tried on some pretty ones and then I totally tried on a wedding dress! I saw it on the rack so after the evil nagging lady told me to wash up I did. ['wash up' geez I sound like Dad!] It was beautiful! It had this amazing beaded bodice all the way from the capped sleeves to my waist and then it like poofed out like a cinderella dress, and then little poofs would gather with a pearl here and there and then there was a pretty train. it was over six hundred dollars with everything with it.. and well.. it was ALREADY PAID FOR! I didnt' notice it until I was taking it out of the thing and Irene hesitated and was like.. well we'll just be careful with it and so we were like whispering the whole time in there it was hilarious! Pictures of it are on Sophie's camera not mine [cause mine died *pouts*] I felt like Cinderella. It was amazing. *dreamy sigh* We went to Ross Dress for Less cause that's the main store Sophie wanted to go in and I totally bought those amazing shirts there.

Okay I'm sick of going step-by-step. The point is I felt like a jerk because we had no time to go to the mall and it was sad!

Oh geez, and Saturday night Cassandra spend the night because well the plan was: We were going to pitch a tent in the backyard and sleep in it and wake up at like 5 or 5:30 and go over to Heidi's house and 'abduct' her for her birthday. But instead we just stayed in my bedroom and dressed up with makeup, hair and wigs and creepy masks all night, made the mistake of sleeping for an hour and then we couldn't get back up so we just kept sleeping.

To make up for it, this morning we told Heidi that we were going to be at her house to pick her up for breakfast at like 6:15 or 6:30 but secretly me and CAssandra were planning to show up early at her house dressed in masks and pantyhose and such, and kidnap her. so we did and she was like "Wait let me get a bra!! I need shooess!" and then when I stuffed her in the very very back she's like "not a trunk!" and we were like "it's not a trunk" in our manvoices. it was hilarious. She was already awake though but it was still grand. We handcuffed her and stuff and everything. But she totally knew it was us and she was like " I totally should have expected this" Because she knew that we were going to get her on Sunday and we never did. So we went back to Cassandra's house and made waffles and whatnot.

Ugh I was so sick today it sucked.

Ooh! I might not be lactose intolerant beacuse I had like half of a large brownie earthquake blizzard and NOTHING. happened. it was amaziing. adn I've had some dairy since then so I've been good.

But I've been experiencing the capital C for like two weeks so it finally caught up with me and I had a huge bout of the big D.
ya catch me?

My body sucks sometimes.
I really want to get a new bathing suit! Maybe I'll get a cute one in Utah with the paycheck I don't have left *Scrunches up face*

We should brainstorm a rough list of things we want to do, eh,, ehhh?? So are you moved into that condo yet? Is it the one with the lighthouse room and stuff. I wasn' thate huge of a fan of it. I haven't talked to you in awhile, sadly!

I've been doing a lot of choir performances and whatnot. At the end of May we're going to Seattle for like four days to shop and to watch West Side Story and I really want to buy a pretty cocktail dress to wear there!

It's late. I have to head off to bed.

And I've realized I'm pretty boring, and I am monotone and I'm not that enthusiastic really.. but on the bright side, I can do a mean British accent!

try me. I'm the best. :D

this blog is random spurts of energy and exhaustedness. [is that even a word?]

the end.

One nocturnal son of a gun

I got my first paycheck on Saturday!! Yeehaw. But I am going to discipline myself. 10% goes to tithing of course. then 50% goes in my Gesa Savings Account. [maybe every other paycheck will go to my Hapo Savings account even though I only have five dollars in there. Then that could go toward something else.. like leisure and then Gesa will be my college one or something...] and then the 40% or whatever goes in my Checking account. Woo.

$159.80.

When you split it up all crazily it doesn't seem like MUCH. But it is not even a week of training [3 hrs. each training day] and a couple weeks of work. My normal paydays are the 5th and 20th. Isn't that weird?! Yeah, but I'm like totally pumped + enthused!!

The first thing I'm doing with it is getting my hair foiled. It's about time! [Or maybe I'll just get my hair foiled in Utah?] Cause there's not a whole lot I can spend with a little over 70 bucks for clothes. Ohh.. how I want clothes. Man I wish I was rich. All my newest clothes are all worn and kinda stretched out and stuff. *pouts* Eh whatevs. I'll figure SOMETHING out.

Headache. + extra abdominal pain = eeeehhh.

I am so freaking busy lately IT'S INSANE!
feel like asking me about it? Expect to receive a few paragraphs of biased reponses.

P.S. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eiiU-Fky18s Go and watch that music video.

To be quite honest,

it honestly pisses me off when people can't//don't know how to do their make-up right. rawwwwwr.!ASDKFJ


Watching: The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants

Doing: Homework >.<

thank freaking goodness for the 2 hr. late start. but still AH!

Dad had to forge James's signature for Pam's birthday card.


Puahahhaa.

Well I guess didn't have to.. but sure did!!